Whether you’ve invited people to your wedding or received a wedding invitation yourself, you have probably wondered what to do about the “and guest” or “plus 1″ for singles. Here’s the scoop for those of you trying to figure it out.
photo from http://www.myexpression.com/ArticlesWedding/AddressingInvitationEnvelopes.cfm
If you are the host:
If you want your single friend to bring someone (and you don’t want to specify who), then address the invitation to your friend “plus guest” or “and guest.”
If you want to specify who someone brings as a date, write that person’s name on the invitation also. For example, if your guest has two girlfriends and you want him to bring one or the other of them, it is acceptable to specify which person (by name) you want him to bring.
If you don’t want your guests to bring a date, don’t include a date’s name and omit the “and guest” from the envelope! It should be known what you mean, even if your RSVP reply card has a line that says “Number of Guests.” And after reading this blog, your guest will definitely know they’re not allowed to bring someone if it’s not on the envelope! That said, if you have singles at your wedding and you don’t want to be uncomfortable, be sensitive to where you seat them.
If you are the guest:
If you receive an invitation that says “and guest” then you are free to bring any guest. I received an invitation to a wedding last year and my boyfriend couldn’t come. I didn’t want to assume that I could bring a friend, so I asked the bride. She said that she specified “and guest” because she wanted me to bring someone (she knew I wouldn’t know anyone else at the wedding) and she didn’t care who it was.
That said, if the invitation specifies your significant other’s name, then you should not assume that you can bring anyone; only your boyfriend/girlfriend is invited.
Likewise, if you receive an invitation and it does NOT say “plus guest” or “and guest” and it does not include someone else’s name specifically (such as your significant other’s name), then you CANNOT bring a date. Please do not put “2″ in the RSVP reply card as the number of attendees (even if the reply card says “Number of Guests” on it!). Your hosts did not intend for you to bring a guest and it will only put both of you in an awkward position. One friend had to call the guest to explain that the invitation was addressed only to the guest and that the couple couldn’t afford to host an additional person.
A tip for the single guest who isn’t allowed to bring a date: Be Understanding! Weddings are expensive & there are often lots of family guest list expectations to contend with. Don’t take it personally that you will go it alone and don’t make the couple feel bad! If it’s SO upsetting to be going to a wedding alone, then maybe you shouldn’t go. I hope that helps put it in perspective!
~ Natasha
Good post, with pertinent information.